Author Archives: vicky

QueenBee’s favourite place is the Salvos – Australia-speak for the Salvation Army charity shop. I love it too, for many reasons. One is that it willingly receives the majority of my soul-purging chuck-out sessions and many dispossessed profit from that. … Continue reading →

… today’s gonna be a good, good day. Sometimes Melbourne just hands you a perfect autumn day. Crisp sunlight slowly melts the garden’s overnight dew drench. Magpies and corellas serenade the duck-egg sky. On a day like today the hamster … Continue reading →

Tinky the House Elf may not have come, but someone else is coming. My mother. Tonight. (♩♪♫♬ dun dun DAH! ♩♪♫♬) Her advent, even more so than that of the cleaners on Tuesday, has spurred a massive tidying spree, especially since … Continue reading →

Dear JK Rowling I whole-heartedly adore your work. Every word of it. At the end of a full and full-on first term, I’m dragging myself along – on my lips, cos my limbs are too tired – towards the holidays, … Continue reading →

This is going to come as a shock to some, but I actually do work. The fact that my earnings are pitiful (for now!) is immaterial. I want erased permanently those mental pictures of me: Laughing over cappuccinos in smart … Continue reading →

Last year, Gothic Pre-teen fell in love. It was very Danielle Steele. We were camping (yeah, I know – ‘nother story) on a golden beach, the Antipodean sun was setting, the atmosphere of bonhomie was almost tangible … and then … Continue reading →

A page of my son’s handwriting looks as though a Wookie exploded on a snowfield. Despite brilliance in many areas, Rory’s weak point has always been when he has a pencil in one hand. Now, I was a teacher once. … Continue reading →

There is no escaping it: Fat Molly is obese. It’s a fact as certain as the moon draws water and as tomorrow always dawns. (See photographic evidence on public FaceBook page: Vicky Gemmell – wordwringers.) Before you point accusatory fingers … Continue reading →

(Sung to the tune of one of my all-time favourites: Oh What a Night! – loudly and tunelessly to the accompaniment of a huge glass bottle of end-of-week wine.) Yesterday, for the first time since 21st December I was child-free – … Continue reading →

Me: Ok, I’m going to tell you my all-time best joke: what did the villagers call Postman Pat when he retired? Family: What? Me: Pat! I collapsed laughing. My family regarded me stony-faced. They’d heard this one a thousand times. … Continue reading →